he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
