things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.