Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
# Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
29 Super Simple DIY Drinking Games
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.