i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
The 17 Most Horrible Things Said To Online Daters
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.