you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
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