can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
