drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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