what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Randomize
