You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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