I only kidnapped one of them. chill
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize