It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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