Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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