Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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