She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
