When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize