Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Randomize
