i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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