I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
