I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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