So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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