I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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