you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
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