I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
