I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I got chris browned last night
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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