He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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