A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
