Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
