I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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