I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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