Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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