New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
