People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
