Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
