What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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