she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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