yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
