DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
