bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
