Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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