I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
