I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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