GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
