You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
