Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
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