im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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