we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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