ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
