I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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