Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
