Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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