Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
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Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
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My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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