He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
