I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Boobs speak an international language.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
So vagazzling was a success
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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