how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
