I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I looked at my own cervix.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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