Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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