theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
