yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
