The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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