The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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