Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
