she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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