i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
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