what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Randomize
