Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
