Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
