I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
